Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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