idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
