sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize