I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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