I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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