no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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