The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
