im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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