If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
