saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
