tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
