Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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