Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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