That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
