Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
