I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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