all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
