I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
