Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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