Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
