His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
