i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
