I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
