I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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