You work out of a Hotel?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
