I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
