Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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