Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize