Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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