i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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