matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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