i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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