The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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