My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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