we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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