During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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