I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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