I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
