Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
