I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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