So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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