brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize