You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
