She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
