So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
