ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i think my cat just said my name.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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