sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
