allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
