Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
