When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
