i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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