I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize