didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
