You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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