You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
