dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh god it's open bar.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
