Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
