Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
