What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
