At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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