i permit you to call me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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