Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just sent this text using only my big toe
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
