therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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