He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
