If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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