You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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