Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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