she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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